mommy musings2

I have observed that children need to have choices. They need to be able to make comparisons. When a child has only one role model with him/her always, for example, just the main caregiver, the child will emulate the traits of the main caregiver, good and bad. But if a kid has more than one role models, then he/she can make comparisons and see what works for him/her, ergo they not just imitate but develop their own character. If both parents are involved in the child's upbringing and the kid can look up to both parents, then he/she have points of comparisons and both parents can guide the child on how to act and react in certain situations. Kids don't have innate fears or a sense of right and wrong yet. They take cues from what they see and hear around them. They say that it takes a community to raise a child which is true to a point. It is important for kids to be in a good environment, to be surrounded by people who love them and care for their well-being. They need to be exposed but at the same time they need the grownups to guide and reign them in when they're about to go overboard.

Be there to guide them...

Children are very keen observants and the great thing about kids are that they are spontaneous and honest. You get instant feedback. Grownups can really learn so much from kids. One just needs to listen and be sensitive to their actions. They also have a great sense of justice. So it's important to be good examples to kids. Don't be too uptight and make sure that you can walk the talk.

...but allow them to develop their own character.

That said, education also plays a big role in the development of a child's character. Education is not just the responsibility of the teachers nor is it just the parents'. Parents and teachers should be open-minded and be able to work hand in hand, so it's vital to find the right school or course of education (e.g. homeschooling, private, public, religious, Waldorf, Montessori, etc.) for your child and you.

I'm a first-time parent and don't claim to be an expert in parenting. I am learning and still has so much to learn.

mommy musings

I want my daughter to grow up knowing that her body is her own, that she has a say over it, and that she has the power to say no. It would be really great if people would just ask her permission if they want to kiss or hug her and not be offended when she refuses. She's not a toy that anyone can just hold or hug, nor meat that can be pinched without a care. I mean, would a grown-up like it if a completely random stranger pinches you in the mall or suddenly hugs you? I get that my daughter is cute and all but, admit it, it's just not okay. What's worse is when relatives or friends force a kiss or a hug and when she squirms, they call her a snob to her face. I really don't like it when my daughter is given negative labels especially when she's actually doing nothing wrong. When you call something or someone a label, for example you call a kid a snob, it can get stuck, and she might believe it and actually act a snob even if she was not in the first place. It's not just about being hygienic or not being a snob, it's about teaching her respect. She may be young but she's a person and like any other person she deserves respect. That way she would learn to respect herself and others too. Also, I want her to know that it's okay to say NO. This may be very useful when she gets to her adolescent years and there's so much peer pressure. =)